"we accept the love we think we deserve"

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Hello, I'm Aly Juliet LaComb and I am an absolute hopeless romantic...
I look forward to the day when I love someone, and the day that someone loves me back. It seems like all "love" is right now is a chase. She wants him, he doesn't really care, or vise versa, and then one day it all just ends... And one of them is left wondering what went wrong, what they should've done differently.
High school "love" is tiptoeing around pins and needles; it's walking on eggshells. It's, "Should I text him first?" "Should I play hard to get?" "I want to make him want me." And if you ask me, that's not love at all. That's what I would call searching for something you know you can't just find. We're all guilty of it, we've all been teenagers before, we've all felt that incredible want to be wanted.
But shouldn't love be more than that? Shouldn't it be more than wanting a hand to hold, or a set of lips to kiss your forehead?
I don't think you can SEARCH for love. I think that love finds its way to you. And I believe that's the way it should be. You can't meet someone with the mindset of, "This person is the one. We are going to have a relationship. We are going to fall in love." Because let's face it, those are forced feelings. That is you telling yourself, YOU NEED TO HAVE "FEELINGS" FOR THIS PERSON. But I don't think it works that way in real life, outside of high school- at least I HOPE it doesn't work that way... But what do I know? I'm a 17 year old girl, and I know for a fact that I have never truly loved in the way I hope to someday.
I hope that when I fall in love, that it is spontaneous. I hope I don't tell myself that he's the one, I hope I just FEEL that he is the one. I want the moment we realize we're in love to be while we're just driving around all night listening to John Mayer or The Beatles, laughing, joking, talking. I want my love to be natural- not forced, not anticipated. I want a serindipudus type of love. And I will not settle for less.
Because, you know what? We accept the love we think we deserve. And I know that I deserve real love- not "walking on eggshells" love. I deserve true love, my own Romeo, as does everyone else. But no, no... I will not be one to settle.

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