kiss me like you wanna be loved

Monday, December 31, 2012

"and your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck. i'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet."

heaven is a half pipe

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Happy New Year. Almost.
I can't believe it'll be the year 2013.
It feels so weird to say. I feel like once you FINALLY get used to writing the correct year on your papers, the year changes. Life goes by so fast.

Well.. On New Year's Day last year, I got the news that my good friend Brandon Vance hung himself on New Year's Eve.

I still remember moments with him really clearly, which at times, I am grateful for. But sometimes I wish I didn't remember so much...
Like the time we went to the Alpine cemetery with a bunch of kids and just sat in a circle and talked, cuddling up with blankets on a spring night. He's buried there now.
Or the times we walked home together, and he hugged me on the corner by his house.
That time I snuck up on him in his garage while he was skating and blasting A Day to Remember.
The time he told me over text that I was pretty, and I jumped on my bed so high that my head hit the ceiling.
Like the time when he wanted to kiss me, but I refused to.
Sometimes I think about that and wish I did.

It's a weird feeling; losing someone like this. Because you feel like you could've done something, and that alone is what tugs at me and keeps the questions coming. Not even the fact that he's gone, but the fact that maybe I could've prevented it if I didn't push him away when he started drinking, or if I didn't ignore his last Facebook status saying, "I'll never forgive myself." I should've reached out, rather than give up on him. But what happened... it happened.
It's done, and there is no turning back time, even though I wish I could.
There's lots of things I wish.
I wish I would've at least tried to help him... so that when/if he did still die, I would know that at least I tried.
I wish I could walk home from Timberline Middle School with him just one more time, and get one of his bear hugs at the corner, or watch him from the bushes across the street while he skated in his garage.
I wish I didn't push him away when I found out he was drinking and smoking. I wish I would've been a good influence, instead of just running away.
I hope he knew I cared. I hope he's happy, because he genuinely deserves it so much. I hope he's got it all figured out up there now- and I hope he's still a free spirit, just like he always was here.

I guess there was no point for me writing this, other than getting feelings and memories out. I just want to honor him now, if that makes any sense at all. I just don't want tomorrow to be hard for me, I want to be able to have a good night with my girls and NOT think about what happened a short 365 days ago.

"I wish I knew. It might make me miss him more clearly. It might have made sad sense."
-Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chibosky, pg. 4

I love you, Bridget.
I cannot wait until the day we are reunited, and you can finally teach me some sick tricks on a board.
Heaven is a half pipe!

"we accept the love we think we deserve"

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Hello, I'm Aly Juliet LaComb and I am an absolute hopeless romantic...
I look forward to the day when I love someone, and the day that someone loves me back. It seems like all "love" is right now is a chase. She wants him, he doesn't really care, or vise versa, and then one day it all just ends... And one of them is left wondering what went wrong, what they should've done differently.
High school "love" is tiptoeing around pins and needles; it's walking on eggshells. It's, "Should I text him first?" "Should I play hard to get?" "I want to make him want me." And if you ask me, that's not love at all. That's what I would call searching for something you know you can't just find. We're all guilty of it, we've all been teenagers before, we've all felt that incredible want to be wanted.
But shouldn't love be more than that? Shouldn't it be more than wanting a hand to hold, or a set of lips to kiss your forehead?
I don't think you can SEARCH for love. I think that love finds its way to you. And I believe that's the way it should be. You can't meet someone with the mindset of, "This person is the one. We are going to have a relationship. We are going to fall in love." Because let's face it, those are forced feelings. That is you telling yourself, YOU NEED TO HAVE "FEELINGS" FOR THIS PERSON. But I don't think it works that way in real life, outside of high school- at least I HOPE it doesn't work that way... But what do I know? I'm a 17 year old girl, and I know for a fact that I have never truly loved in the way I hope to someday.
I hope that when I fall in love, that it is spontaneous. I hope I don't tell myself that he's the one, I hope I just FEEL that he is the one. I want the moment we realize we're in love to be while we're just driving around all night listening to John Mayer or The Beatles, laughing, joking, talking. I want my love to be natural- not forced, not anticipated. I want a serindipudus type of love. And I will not settle for less.
Because, you know what? We accept the love we think we deserve. And I know that I deserve real love- not "walking on eggshells" love. I deserve true love, my own Romeo, as does everyone else. But no, no... I will not be one to settle.

merry christmas, ya filthy animal

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

What a great Christmas morning it has been! We had a great Christmas Eve at grandma and grandpa's last night. My grandpa and I danced to East Tennesse Christmas just like we did when I was little. We also opened our pajama's from our parents last night, and they were so fun. The kids woke us up around 7:30 this morning. As much as I didn't want to get out of bed, I knew that the magic of Christmas would come when I walked down the stairs to the room full of presents. I loved watching my little Anna unwrap each of her gifts. Her eyes lit up with every single tear of the paper. It made me realize how much fun Christmas will be for me when I have a family, and that Christmas really DOESN'T lose it's magic as you grow older; it only changes. I feel so incredibly blessed today, not only to get so many great presents, but to be able to spend this day with my family.
I just love the card games being played on both sides of me, the brand new Just Dance 4 being played on the Wii in the living room, the Celtic's game being played on the televisions. This atmosphere is wonderful, and I am so grateful today.

Merry Christmas to all!
Christmas pj's

Christmas ain't Christmas without the NBA

hey missy

Saturday, December 22, 2012

My sissy's boyfriend, and father of her soon to be baby boy, is an unreal musician. I've been listening to this song nonstop since like July. Just thought I'd share it with you all. Check out his YouTube channel HERE, and check out my YouTube channel HERE :)

Here's Hey Missy by the one and only Jb. Ahfua! You will be amazed.

crafters 101

Thursday, December 20, 2012

I've become quite fascinated by crafting lately. A couple weeks ago, I finished a desk I was working on. My main purpose was to get it done, put it in my room and share it with you all on the blog. Buuuuut... Somehow, I forgot to post it. Until now of course. :)

So I bought this super ugly desk from the D.I. Unfortunately I can't find the "before" picture that I took of it, but it was seriously ugly. The wood was SO torn up, and the drawers were this super ugly forrest green color. Basically, it was kind of disgusting. I got it in the garage and with the help of my lovely mother, we sanded the whole entire desk (including the drawers) until it was a smooth, clean looking wood. Then I painted the body grey and the drawers white. We painted the sides of the desk with white and blue stripes... that was all thanks to my mother. A couple months back, we got some really cute vintage bird postcards, so when the paint was all dried, we mod podged them onto the front of the drawers.

Mod Podge is the BEST thing to ever happen to a crafter. You can do anything with it, it's the golden tool. You can buy it HERE for just 10 bucks. Best 10 whoppers a crafter could ever spend!!

After all the hard work, the desk turned out SO cool. I got a cool vase and some fake flowers to put on it, and I found a vintage lamp to put on it as well. I also found that mason jars look really cute (I like rustic decorations), and you can hold pens or jewelry in them.

So without further adieu, here's how the desk turned out! :)

I'm now working on a new project: a clothesline of photos. I'll post it as soon as I'm done.

But remember, fellow bloggers/crafters/soon-to-be crafters...
You can turn almost ANYTHING into a work of art with hard work, and of course, Mod Podge.

"i just want you to know, i wanna be your romeo"

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Hellooooo loves.
So I've been listening to some of the many songs I used to listen to when I was like 10... you know, when I thought I was the coolest kid around. And I'm loving the blast from the past I've been living. I did stumble upon this song that I used to listen to all the time. You could say it has become my not so secret obsession over the past couple of days. It's by LMNT... classic boy band name, right? But honest to goodness, this song is gold. It's called Hey Juliet.
SECRET ALERT (well, not so secret... cause I'm blogging about it): I like to listen to it and think that one day, there will be a boy who will feel this way about me. And it even works out, because I AM Alyssa Juliet LaComb. Call me cliche, call me a lovesick 17 year old, I will take all the ridicule you will give me because it's true:
I just can't wait to find my Romeo one day, and to live a perfectly imperfect fairytale with him.

vent vent vent

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

These are the times when I'm so grateful for my blog and you readers whom most of you I do not know, because I can vent to you all without vocalizing my problems and sound like a whiney little brat.

There's a whole lot of ways that I could sum up my life at this moment. But I'm going to choose the easiest one. And it is this: I feel like complete shit.
Sorry not sorry. It's how I feel, and I've learned it's not healthy for me to hold in my feelings. Sometimes you just have to let it out and express your feelings raw, as they are (and in my case... via blog). So yes, everybody, I just feel like shit.

I feel like no one wants me around anymore. I feel like there's always somebody everyone wants more than me. I hate not being invited to things, I hate being left out, I hate trying so hard to be the best friend I can possibly be, but then being treated poorly during the times when I need true friends the most. I don't know where I've gone wrong. I just want to throw my hands up in the air and be done. Nothing is paying off anymore. Every day brings the same faces, the same names, the same feelings, the same disappointments, the same struggles, but different days on the calendar.

I hate being a pessimist. I hate it SO much and I feel like such a Debbie Downer right now. But I'm just being raw; honest. I hope none of you think I'm a negative little brat. I'm just trying to analyze, express and understand this crazy life I'm living.

Since I hate being negative, I'll try to end on a good note for y'all here. Bringing in my personal beliefs, I do know there's a God. Yes, even though I said a no-no word up there^^^^, I believe whole heartedly in a higher power. I wouldn't doubt it for my life. I know that He is guiding me, and no matter how lonely I am, He is always with me, along with my sweet boy Devin. They're cheering me on, they're on my side, and they see the eternal perspective. At the end of the day, that is what comforts me.

And with that, I bid you goodnight.

gloomy day, gloomy mood

Monday, December 17, 2012

It's been overcast and rainy today. Fitting, to say the least, for my mood.

Everything and everyone has changed so much. So much has happened that has shaped me as a person, and made me grow immensely. I don't know when life got so complicated, but it did. And I miss the simple life. I just miss the way things used to be. I miss girls nights every night, I miss getting that great GPA without any major problems or roalocks, I miss the friends I had that I lost over stupid things and people who tried to sway me. I miss when Devin was still around. I always knew, no matter what, that there would always be that one friend who would love me ALWAYS. But he's not here now, and it makes me feel like I don't have that one person anymore; the one who I knew loved me through everything. I miss him terribly. I miss him more and more everyday, with each and every memory.

I'm sick of being second best in everything to everyone. I'm sick of coming after boyfriends, sports, work, other friends, popularity. I'm sick of stupid high school people trying to stick their noses in everyone else's business. I just want life back to the way it was before. I don't even know what event I'm referring to when I say, "before". I don't know what I'm saying right now, why I'm posting this nonsense. I just look back, and everything is always better in hindsight. Maybe one day I'll look back on where I am in life right now, and maybe I'll wish I was back here again. So I guess I better buck the freak up.

All I know is that I miss my best friends, I miss my Dev, I miss the times when I was doing everything right, when I could do something without disappointing people. And I miss being invincible.


Thursday, December 6, 2012

I am home from school yet again. I'm feeling so yucky.
I went to Urgent Care last night because my lymph nodes were so swollen. I got some medication for my sore throat and swollen nodes, but my dizziness and headaches were unidentifiable. I got a blood test to see how my liver, kidneys, and white blood cells are doing. We get results this afternoon, so I'm looking forward to that. Hopefully it's nothing serious and we can figure out what's going on.

So while I do absolutely nothing on bed rest, I will be watching RedBoxes and drinking apple juice, because that's the only thing I can swallow and keep down.

This is my first movie of the day. The Vow. Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum; both of whom are pretty much perfect... And the movie is pretty much perfect until Rachel McAdams FORGETS WHO HER HUSBAND IS!


I love this movie so much but it's so frustrating to me! It's like, dude! Remember your husband already! If I woke up and Channing Tatum said he was my husband, I would NOT question it. Ever.

"Wild Grace" Photoshoot

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The photos are officially done!
Gentri is the greatest! Here are the results from the shoot today. Enjoy. :)


It is 9:20 a.m... But by the time I finish this post it will not be.

I'm supposed to be in school, but my body has been taking a real beating lately. Headaches, dizzy spells, haven't had a real appetite in a week or so. It's probably stress. I hate stress. So I came home to put a hot water bottle on my tummy and get some rest before my shoot today with the lovely miss Gentri Lee.

I'm pretty much obsessed with the band Graffiti6. I found their song Stare Into the Sun about 2 years ago and I've been IN LOVE with them ever since. I bought their 7 dollar album last year in the middle of my algebra class and I haven't regretted it. Easily the best 7 dollars I've spent.

This is one of my favorite songs from the 'Colours' album.
Music de-stresses me, so Ihope it does the same for y'all.

Enjoy this gem of a song.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

a visit with dev, a whole lot of giggles & plenty of candids

Monday, December 3, 2012

UHH, HELLO STRANGERS. I am somewhat embarrassed at how little I have blogged lately.
Like seriously, I've been slacking. Consider this a public apology.

On the bright side, I have had a stellar couple of weeks, and I hope it has been similar with y'all. I'll have to have multiple posts just to recap the past little while, so just bear with me.

Last week was one of those weeks that went by slower than EVER. So the weekend was much needed when it finally came. Saturday afternoon I headed to the cemetery to visit my sweet boy's grave.  I sat with him for a good forty five minutes. I sang him some of his favorite country songs, or at least I attempted them... (Josh Turner's low notes are close to impossible to manage) His parents showed up at his grave and words cannot describe how happy I was to see them. They greeted me with their love and hugs. We talked about Devin and the many things he used to do and say. We laughed together, we cried together, we mourned together, and celebrated his life together. As my visit with my darling boy came to a close, I sang him the song I always sing to him very last, Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood. (click here to listen and watch the official video) I love visiting him; I love knowing that even though he is gone, I can still sing country songs with him at that grave site. :)

Saturday night was a great night as well. Miss Moyra Pickup is darling, and she is such a great friend. We spent some much needed time together getting coffee, chatting, driving around, laughing. It's always a good time when the two of us get together. There are always so many laughs and jokes. She got so many candids of me laughing my face off. Some of them looked like I was going through some level 10 pain, but some actually turned out kinda cool after some editing and tweaking.


That's all I've got time for now. But....

There. You have that promise in writing.
And Aly Juliet does NOT break a promise. 

xoxo, loves.