red leaves & a happy girl

Monday, October 14, 2013

it's that time of year again when the chill of the air isn't enough to wear a winter coat, but it's just enough to make your skin tingle and feel alive.
i love fall. i always hated it growing up, because it got cold and school started. i really didn't start enjoying it until last year, but it's probably my second favorite season now (summer being first, of course). i think i get a little bit sentimental in the fall. i see beauty and appreciate it more often than i do during the other seasons. i see beauty everywhere- the red leaves, the beautiful mountains, and it just brings me a little taste of heaven.

i've been reflecting lately on things of the past, people of the past. specifically about the people who hurt me, really REALLY bad. i've been extremely bitter toward them in the recent past. i never thought i'd forgive them, and i still know that i'll never forget them forever. but interesting enough, the less i thought about the hurt they caused me, the more time my wound had to heal, the more i forgave them. for me, the forgetting came before the forgiving, but either way, they both happened. how great it feels to move on, i can't even tell you... of course, i still think about the hurt sometimes, because i'm only human. my scars are healed but they're definitely still scars, they'll be there forever.

i guess i've felt very happy as of recent. just very content with my life, my friends, even myself. i've decided that feeling inferior is a really big waste of time. there are so many great, beautiful, and amazing things in this life that there are to appreciate. and i've learned to truly appreciate them. it feels a lot better not to have any issues with people. it feels good to forgive. it feels amazing to take the power to hurt me away from people, because no one make you feel inferior unless you give them the power to do so. it feels so good to be happy about myself, to not worry about other people, to be friends to everyone, to be civil to everyone, to not have any problems with anyone. and it's much, much easier to see beauty in things when you're not full of hatred and negativity. no one likes a negative nancy anyways, right?

these words are SO true, and once you believe them, you'll know exactly what i mean.
goodnight, my happy friends.

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