Sunday, April 7, 2013

I dream of a good life.
Not a perfect life.
But a good one. A beautiful one. A life of trials, but also a life of beauty.
I dream of a boy.
One who cares about me.
Not a boy like my first boy.
A boy who won't hurt me. One who will love me through thick and thin, through my ups and downs. Whether I'm skinny or fat, tired or hyper.
I dream of acceptance from this boy.
Acceptance of my past- good and bad, my future, myself, my weird little quirks that I have, my silly personality.
I dream of simplicity.
A little old house.
A little happy couple.
Holding hands and wasting Friday nights together.
Eating more than we should, just because we can.
I dream of a little baby.
Soft, perfect skin.
Little hands, little feet.
Big eyes, big dreams.
I dream of teenagers.
Denying my motherhood of them.
Wanting me to drop them off around the corner.
Rolling their eyes at me.
I dream of watching them grow.
Watching them make the same mistakes I did as a mother.
Watching them do things much better than I did.
Watching their kids grow, just as I watched them.
I dream of growing old.
Holding his wrinkly hand.
Watching the news and playing solitaire.
Going on walks with him.
Seeing the beauties I failed to see at a young age.
I dream of happiness.
True happiness.
Not happiness that can be borrowed, bought, or owned.
Intangible happiness. Happiness that no one can ever take away from me.

I have so much life ahead of me. So much happiness to look forward to. I am so blessed, and this is only the beginning.

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