Today, I went to Provo High. It wasn't an offical day, and I didn't go to any classes or anything. But I'm offically a student. WOWZERS. I know it's super cliche, but I've honestly waited for this day for months. Everyday in the second semester of freshman year in 2nd period, I would just sit and wish I was at Provo High. So so badly. I hated my school. I definitely could have handled it better. But I hated it. I remember exactly how it started.
I started going to Provo High School sports games and stuff around August. Everyone I met was so sweet, but I never really wanted to go to school there. Until that party at Makayla's house in November. Oh man. That was the hardest night. I showed up, and people said the rudest things. They did things that you only see in cliquey high school movies. I knew that my school was cliquey and somewhat bratty, but I hadn't really seen that bad of it for a while.
I had always been in the popular group. It was me, Kira, Tara, Maddi, Zoe, Sydnie, Hannah, and tons more girls. From 4th-8th grade, we kinda ran our school. Well, we thought we did. We walked like we did. We talked like we did. But it was around November, around the time of that party, that I realized I couldn't do it anymore. Despite the fact that I was one of "them", they pushed me around. They treated me like dirt.
At that party, I finally felt that. I finally realized I was walked all over by them, and frankly- unimportant. So I left. Worst part? No one noticed. Not even my best friends called to see where I went. My absence went unnoticed. Don't get me wrong, that's no big deal, I don't need to be the center of attention. In fact, I'd rather NOT be. But knowing that no one really cared enough to notice, that hurt really bad. And after that night, I gave up.
I stopped going to 3 parties every weekend night.
I stopped worrying about who I was gonna go to lunch with.
I stopped wearing designer jeans and doing my hair all the time.
Bottom line...
I stopped caring what people thought of me.
Clearly, they didn't care much about me anyways. And they really weren't true friends, so I stopped living to please everyone else. I started to do what I wanted to do, and started to please ME.
And that's the best thing I think I've ever done.
And that's the best thing I think I've ever done.
Around November is when I started wanting to go to Provo High. I was getting closer with friends there, and I knew 110% that they were real friends. Friends who would stick beside me, who would notice if I left, who wouldn't care if I wore $10 jeans and Nike's. I wanted to have that laid back atmosphere SO bad, because I was finally realizing that I never really had it.
One thing led to another, and here I am today after my first day as a Provo High student. :) Ah. So smiley about that. I love my friends here. They're hilarious. They tease me, I tease them, but we all know it's funny and we love each other regardless.
In fact, today my buddy Marcelo trash canned me. Hahahaha. Such a struggle, I know. He just pushed me backwards into the trash can and I went in there like it wasn't NOTHIN'. Hahaha I wasn't mad and I wasn't happy. I was just confused. Like, why am I in a trash can and why are people thinking it's funny? Then I felt the liquid go down my butt. That was when I knew I had to destroy Marcelo. It was funny. They all took their pictures and put them on Facebook and Twitter and what not. But they helped me out and said it was for my 'Welcome to Provo High' experience. Silly kids. :)
Overall, it was a good day. And there's still more day to come! It's only 4! Yay! Tomorrow will be my first full school day at PHS. I'm hoping I don't get lost or anything. Knowing me, I will.
But hey, at least I've got some solid friends that have my back... in the trash can, that is.
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