Aly the Brat

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Tonight, my bratty side comes out. No, I'm not in a bad mood. I'm in a great mood, actually. But I think this would be a pretty fun thing to blog about...

Things people need to hear.
Sometimes people just do/say things that make me go, "Why were you born?" Really. Some things I see make me want to throw things at people, or make my knuckle prints a permanent feature of their face because they don't understand their stupidity. So here we go folks, the top 10 things people need to hear, but don't.

#10:Hey lady, don't wear shorts shorter than your daughter's. You look like you belong in Vegas.
#9: I know you're trying to be a good dad, but you do NOT need to wear a Goofy hat around Disney Land for your kid to love you. Buy your kid a churro or something instead. Please.

#8: Darling, you don't look tan. You look like you rolled around in a bag of Cheeto's.

#7: I know that you two are in love, but PLEASE keep the love in an area appropriate. In the middle of a mosh pit at a dance party isn't super romantic anyway.

#6: Must you yell to make me notice you? All you're doing is making me think you're obnoxious.

#5: Whoa, your parents own a Ferrari? That's tight... but they own you too, so you ain't as cool as you think you are, pal.

#4: Once you turn 30 (and even that is pushin' it), PLEASE don't go to dance parties. You don't look hip. You look like a 1974 Buick in the middle of a Range Rover sales lot.

#3: Why the bloody devil do you have your kid on a leash? Did you buy him, along with his packaged food, for 10 bucks in the Wal Mart parking lot? Treat him like a human being, not a K9.

#2: Sweetheart, you're 12... you are not in love with him.

#1: Only one person on this earth can pull off sunglasses when it's not sunny... and that is Usher. Are you Usher? No. So quit tryna be cool, take your sunglasses off & grocery shop like a normal person.

Well that's 10 of VERY many things that people need to come to realization with. Yes, I realize I sound like a total complete brat. But I think it's fun to make fun of things people do.

Chances are, people make fun of things I do all the time.

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