my little mini me

tonight i have been babysitting.

the dreaded task of the oldest child, especially on a saturday night.

i took 8 year old anna to basketball practice with the intentions of letting her run around the marriott center getting tired so she could sleep soundly and i could happily watch desperate housewives.

i love my sister more than anything. i would truly do anything for her. it's the duty of a sister to love and protect and be a best friend. but tonight, i realized how really true that statement is.

i have no problem with cooking. i actually really enjoy it. making dinner for my siblings is never a big issue, but tonight was one of those "i'm too lazy to lift a finger" nights, and i took my sister out for ice cream. yes, ice cream for dinner. anna told me i was the coolest sister ever. i felt like all of the mothers before me who ever told their kids to eat their vegetables were very disappointed in my little sister's so called 'meal'. the smile on her face was worth it, though. she ordered pistachio ice cream, because, and I quote, "that's what YOU always get Aly, so i got it, too!" in that moment, i felt a sense of responsibility. i've gotta be a good example for this little rascal, cause she watches my every move. she thinks i'm such a cool, old kid, when in reality, i'm just a crazy 18 year old who likes long drives and hot baths. i'm such an average girl, but somehow, she wants to be just like me. that makes me really happy, and a little bit nervous.

we came home and watched a movie. she giggled at the funny parts, and i smiled at her cute little raspy giggle. she decided that she wanted to read me a book. we layed on the floor and she read me Junie B. Jones; it took me back to when i was her age and those books were my absolute favorites. after we read 2 chapters, she closed the book and just started talking to me. not like a sister, but like a best friend. she told me about how her favorite books are mysteries, because she likes to try to figure out "who did it". she told me that she's a lot better in reading and writing than in math.

i smiled, not an empty smile, but a smile with a lot of thoughts racing behind it, because...

i loved mysteries as a kid. and i've NEVER been good at math. i never will be. but writing and reading are my strongest areas. i love getting lost in a book, letting the pages take me to a different world and having a little escape from my reality. i love writing what i feel, what people feel. this was the moment that i realized that my sister and i really are so much alike. she tries so hard to be like me by getting pistachio ice cream and wearing camo skinny jeans and white converse. but i see a lot of myself in her, the things that she doesn't TRY to do. it makes me really happy.

this got me thinking:

i can NOT wait to have little kiddos of my own. for the longest time, i didn't want kids. i kinda planned to just devote my life to my music. i wanted a marriage, but kids seemed to be a lot of baggage at the time. i'm not quite sure when it was that i realized that my mind had changed; maybe it was when i was finally single after a long period of dating a boy who hated kids, maybe it was when i took my cousins for snow cones and they told me i was the best cousin ever. i really don't know. but let me tell ya, i live for the day that i can hold my very own baby and say, "awh, she has my nose" or "he has his eyes". i live for the day that my 10 year old trusts me enough to tell me who her 4th grade crush is. i can't imagine the joy that will bring me. i just know they'll be so rewarding in my life once i have been married for a while and am ready to have little rascals running around.

goodness that was a lot of words i just typed.

a lot of scattered thoughts.

i always try to keep these posts brief but it's so hard, i just have so much love and gratitude for everything and everyone around me, and especially the lessons i learn from them. i want to express it all, but sometimes it gets a little lengthy. :)

thanks to all of you who've taught me valuable lessons and given me experiences that have made me truly grateful for everything. i'm just blessed to be here, in provo utah, with the coolest family on the galaxy, surrounded by the most beautiful mountains on the planet, and with a bright future ahead.

 have a wonderful saturday night, lovelies.

butterfly kisses

yesterday i got my eyelash extensions done by my cousin, ellie. i was always a little skeptical of them and was never quite sure if i wanted them. but when i saw that my cousin was having such an INCREDIBLE deal on them, i figured i would try them out. the verdict...

 I LOVE THEM. so so much.

they're so beautiful and they save a lot of time. they're really easy to manage; you don't have to do anything special to them. they were made to be manageable and to save time, and they exceeded my expectations!

i usually take maybe 10 minutes or less on my make up, unless i'm going out or want to look extra done up. i really like a natural look, because i think natural beauty is the purest and most real form of beauty. my lashes are the perfect length and fullness, because they look noticeably long and gorgeous, but they don't look fake at all. this morning, it didn't even take me 5 minutes to get ready. i put on some powder and blush and i was done. it was so awesome.

so all in all, i give the lashes 5 stars. they're gorgeous and very low maintenance. 

AND GUESS WHAT!

my cousin ellie is doing lash extensions for only $55 until November 1st!! that is the best deal on lashes i've ever heard about. they're usually close to $80 or even more. you're getting an amazing deal on gorgeous lashes AND saving time.

call or text ellie to get your lashes done and i promise you will absolutely adore them!

these lashes will give the best butterfly kisses in town.

Ellie Beckstrand

Located in Provo

801-822-1649

the little things

the other day, i was driving over to alpine to see my grandma and to visit the cemetery. while i was driving there, a song by Due West came on the radio. i couldn't help but smile and know that it was a little sign from my guardian angel saying hello to me; telling me he loves me. and i sure do love him.

my eighth grade year, devin's seventh grade year, one of dev's favorite country bands came to utah to do a local concert to fundraise for devin and his family.  he seriously loved this band so much. i went early to help out with setting the whole venue up. we set up chairs, decorations, if i remember correctly there were candles that we were lighting. and then there was devin and his family. when Due West came on stage, devin did his up and down bouncy thing he did when he got excited. i thought he was going to burst. that night was pure happiness.

it's really hard to grasp the whole concept of death- especially when it's someone you really loved. to think that they're gone, absolutely GONE, it's really difficult and it's not an easy thing to come to terms with. but it's little moments like these that bring him back to me, for just a moment. the times when i'm driving around and his favorite band or one of his favorite songs come on, and i know that he's sitting in my front seat jammin' out with me.

it's like the clouds open up and let him come down just when i need him the most. it's pretty amazing. life is a really cool thing. it's really hard sometimes, harder than i would prefer it to be. but it's really so wonderful.